The couple went to marital counseling, their pastor tried to talk sense into Sue’s husband, and well-intentioned friends tried to intervene. But Sue’s husband had already made up his mind to walk away from their marriage. “I was devastated,” Sue confides. “And it was even more crushing when my husband decided to marry the woman he was having the affair with. I thought to myself, Really? No God, not this. Anybody but her. Tell me that this isn’t really happening. But I now realize that I couldn’t control what my husband did. Whether he left or stayed, I needed to do everything that I could to give him grace. Was it easy? No. But I needed to forgive my husband – even while I was deeply hurting. And I did. I did everything that I could. However, my husband refused to accept my forgiveness. It was easier for him to walk away, than stay and face what he’d done,” Sue continues.
There is Hope
In her new book, When Happily Ever After Shatters, Sue Birdseye provides comfort to those who have been crushed by infidelity and divorce. “Every marriage will have its share of battles. That painful reality even applies to Christian marriages. My husband was a Christian, just like me. We even met in Bible study. And at the time of his adultery, he was a church leader and political figure. Yet, we’re now divorced,” Sue exclaims. “But my book, When Happily Ever After Shatters, helps readers deal with the aftermath of a failed marriage. It also helps people in a struggling marriage hold on. Marriage is a God-sized task. It requires God’s wisdom and strength. I look back and ask myself, How in the world did I not kick that man out? It was totally God! I’m not that great of a gal. I was angry and bitter, but God overwhelmed me with grace. The Lord gave me the strength to get through it – His way,” Sue shares.
When Happily Ever After Shatters doesn’t offer a “five-step plan” for overcoming rejection and divorce – because there isn’t one. However, it will help readers forgive (even themselves), overcome shame, protect their children, and embark upon a happier life. “As I share my story, I pray that readers will see that – even in the midst of great pain – there can be great miracles. For people still married, I would advise them to fight for their marriage (if they’re not physically in danger). I wish I had fought for my marriage from day one. I wish I didn’t wait until we reached a crisis at the very end. Of course, couples can fight through a crisis, but it’s always better to strengthen a marriage before major problems occur. Everywhere we look, families all over the world are under attack. And if our families are under attack, we need to become warriors that fight for them. I don’t think I was a bad wife. We just had lots of kids, and life got in the way of our marriage. But now, I can comfort those with the comfort God has given me. I’m here to tell people that there is life after divorce – and for those still married (who are not facing an abusive situation), I’m here to tell them not to give up so easily.”