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Overcoming Postpartum Depression Photo: Alexandr Kazharski/shutterstock.com

BY GRACE MILLER

Conservatively speaking, one in seven women suffer from postpartum depression after giving birth. How many women do you know? If you know more than seven, the odds are you know someone who has suffered from this disorder. In fact, here at CALLED, one of our favorite contributors experienced postpartum depression and has shared her story to raise awareness.

aarti sequeiraYou likely know her for her infectious smile, easy humor, and delicious recipes, but Aarti Sequeira knows the struggle postpartum depression can cause. When she first shared her experience on her blog, AartiPaarti.com, she said, “It’s the ultimate experience of having lies whispered into your heart, lies like: “There’s something wrong with you because you have no maternal instinct. You’re not cut out to be a mother because (insert reason here). You’re never going to feel better. You’re going to ruin your baby because you don’t love her…”

She continued, “It sometimes feels like I’m being attacked by a swarm of bees. Their stings are so painful, so demanding of my attention, that I can’t swat them away with words of truth.” Aarti’s honesty and vulnerability elicited an outpouring of support from her readers, some of whom shared similar experiences.

Eventually, Aarti’s struggle hit a turning point. “One day when [my daughter] was about 3 months old, I was sitting by myself, and I was clipping her fingernails. I nipped her finger by mistake, and she wailed, a cry that pierced my heart and set my own tears to flow,” she said in our interview. “At that moment, I Googled postpartum depression, found an organization called Postpartum Support International, and called the helpline. The voice on the other end was so soft, so gentle, and so understanding — they suggested a support group to start, and that’s how my healing began.”

Since then, Aarti has been candid about her experience. Although she has overcome her struggle, she maintains a passion for helping others with postpartum depression. “I’ve often wondered why Jesus walked me through this tunnel. I’m still not sure, but I will say that it has given me such a heart for people who suffer from depression,” she shared.

“You cannot fully know what it’s like until you’ve gone through it or you’ve stood alongside someone going through it. It is vile and insidious, and you need as many people around you as possible. It has been my privilege to help a number of women get help, simply by speaking out about it on TV and such.”


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What is Postpartum Depression?
So, what exactly is postpartum depression, and why do some women suffer from it? Many women experience some form of the “baby blues” after giving birth — a week or two of moodiness, stress, anxiety, and crying. However, postpartum depression lasts much longer, and its symptoms (which may not surface for up to a year after giving birth) are significantly more severe.

After giving birth, the drastic shifts in a woman’s hormones, body, and life can collide to create a painful storm. This storm is only worsened by the sleep deprivation that life with a newborn often brings. According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms mirror other forms of depression and can include the following:

  • Sad moods and mood changes.
  • More crying than seems normal or necessary.
  • Difficulty developing an attachment to the new baby.
  • Too much or too little sleeping.
  • Lack of interest in activities that were once enjoyed.
  • Heightened irritation and anger.
  • Fearfulness about one’s ability to care for the new baby.
  • Feeling worthless, ashamed, guilty, or inadequate.
  • Thinking less clearly or feeling less able to concentrate.
  • Severe anxiety (possibly even panic attacks).
  • Thoughts of death or suicide.

Can you imagine one of your friends or loved ones suffering through these symptoms during what she expected to be the most joyful time in her life?

How Can I Help?
For Aarti and other women who suffer from postpartum depression, the support of loved ones and friends is an invaluable resource. If you know a woman who is struggling with postpartum depression, reach out to her. Offer her support and encouragement. Become a prayer warrior for her heart. Ask what you can do to help her. And keep a few things in mind:

1. Remember that these symptoms are the result of a medical disorder. When asked what she wished others knew about postpartum depression, Aarti said, “Many people think that you can simply combat it by either keeping your chin up or praying it away. When those things don’t work, you’re left feeling even worse.”

2. Don’t shrug it off as just being “the baby blues.” Postpartum depression goes much deeper than that and doesn’t often go away on its own. Women in these circumstances usually need more than time to get better.

3. Postpartum depression is more common than you think. Women struggling through this disorder often feel isolated. It’s important to let them know that they aren’t alone and that this is something they can overcome.

4. Avoid passing judgment if the woman chooses to take medication. As Aarti put it, “Depression is as much a chemical imbalance as it is a spiritual battle. […] I found that the meds gave me just the lift that I needed to fight the negative thoughts that had previously taken me under — I needed to see above the clouds, to see the sun, in order to fight the forces pulling me back under them.”


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How Do I Get Through It?
If you are struggling with postpartum depression, here are Aarti’s words of wisdom for taking your life back:

Arm yourself. Learn as much as you can about postpartum depression. This knowledge will help you and those around you understand what you’re going through.

Get help. “Part of what made the postpartum depression so bad was that I waited until my daughter was 8 months old to get help. I should have done it sooner,” Aarti said. “It’s up to you to take a step forward, raise your hand, say something is wrong, and get help. It’s not going to go away without you asking for and accepting help.” Help may come from those around you, support groups, or even your doctor. Use every resource you can find.

Be honest. Don’t hide your anger, frustration, sadness, or other emotions. Let others know how you’re feeling so that they can help in any way they can. “These things will fester in the shadows,” Aarti said. “Sweep them into the light, whether that means talking to your husband, your pastor, or even just aloud during your prayer time.”

Hold on to your faith. Aarti also shared how her experience challenged her faith. “I questioned [God], pummeled my fists into His chest, demanding to know why He would let this happen to His daughter.” But now, on the other side of her struggle, she encourages other women to cling to God, saying, “Even if you don’t ‘feel’ God listening to you, keep praying. He’s listening.” c